I first learned I was pregnant at 45

When I first learned I was pregnant at age 45, the Dr. put the doppler on my abdomen and let me listen to the heartbeat. When I heard it, I looked at the Dr. and said, "So?"

I was totally not ready yet to accept that I was pregnant!! Even though I heard the baby's heartbeat inside me, it didn't feel real... and I felt absolutely NO connection to "it" (that's how I referred to my daughter for the longest time). I realize now that I was in the denial stage of trying to deal with my situation.

After my first Dr. appointment, where the pregnancy was confirmed, they gave me a stack of pre-natal books on baby development. I took them back to my home office, and literally tossed them under my desk, and didn't pull them out for the next 6 weeks!!! So just know this - your feelings are normal.

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I am 44 years old, and the mother of 12 year old twins. We just took in my 15 year old niece to live with us 3 months ago. We have just finally settled into new routines, and the adjustments of a new teenager in our household.

My period was late. I thought perhaps due to a lifestyle change and the additional stress, that this was just a normal occurrence. Once of the boys was sick with the flu last week. When I developed symptoms of the flu, I went to pick up my prescription for Tamiflu and had the pharmacist put in a pregnancy test as well. It was positive.

I have been a wreck since. I so don't know what to do. I have an appointment with the OBGYN [Obstetrician/Gynecologist] in the morning to confirm. My husband is practically not speaking to me, and I feel like I am going through this alone.

He said that "there goes my chance of ever retiring" and that "I guess if you decide to keep it, I'll have to get a second job". I feel happy one minute, and terribly sad the next.

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Category: 44, 45